My Dance Recital Diatribe

I think it is terrific when friends and family support kids in their endeavors.  It means everything in the world to a child to have their loved ones sitting in the audience/bleacher/sidelines cheering them on.  I love seeing moms and dads and grandparents and siblings and even aunts and uncles show up to an event to support a kid they love.

But. I wish people would think it through a bit before they bring young children along.  For some events, having toddlers in tow is great.  I’ve seen little brothers and sister fully enjoy running along soccer fields and volleyball courts.  The action, noise and excitement is everything that a three year old loves.  Even babies are fine at these events.  They may impede their parents’ enjoyment of the game but they rarely bother others too much.

Then there are family events where bringing kids is completely inappropriate and I’m going to say that this applies to most piano/orchestra or vocal performances.  All require quiet audiences and minimal distractions - neither of which you can count on a child under five to provide.  But above and beyond all of these I will contend that dance recitals are not a place for babies.

I went to the Saturday night performance this weekend with my mom.  We found our seats and got comfortable, excited for what was ahead.  Faith has worked for over six months on some of these dances.  She has poured her heart and soul into this one weekend of the year.  We have paid tuition on many classes, bought shoes, tights and leotards.  Our costume bill would make you question my sanity.  On top of all that, we paid $15 a seat to watch the recital ($15 is modest by the way, many studios in our city charge $25) and my mom bought a plane ticket and flew 500 miles.

My family had a lot invested in this night.  Not just in money, but in time, heart and sweat as well.  So it was with great dismay that I watched the family in front of us sit down with their 11 month old and three year old.  I knew that it could not possibly end well.

To be fair, the kids were about as good as you could expect two kids to be sitting in the dark for two hours with loud music watching people they don’t know dance.  But there was a lot of bobbing up and down and moving seats and passing of the baby as she got fussy.  About 3/4 of the way through they had finally had it and their parents decided to take them out.  I’m sure they meant well, but removing kids means collecting toys, gathering the car seat, saying goodbye to grandma and then standing up and moving through the row of seats.

All of this took place during Faith’s best dance which I only got to see a portion of through the moving bodies in front of me.  I very nearly got violent but ultimately decided that would just cause a bigger distraction.  Had I been a parent of one of the seniors performing their solos? I think I could have justifiably smacked somone.

Dance is not like other sports.  When Faith was in soccer, I got to watch her play every week - sometimes more than once.  If I missed a few minutes of a game it was rarely, if ever, a big deal.  But with dance, I have a one shot deal and this family ruined it because they spent $30 on tickets for their little kids instead of using that money for a baby sitter.  Had they left those kids at home, I’m sure they would have enjoyed themselves more, the kids would have enjoyed themselves more and I know I sure would have had a better time. 

There.

Diatribe done.  Thank you for listening.

To finish on a lighter note, here are a couple of pictures.  First, Faith and her best friend Em.  We have to get a picture of the two of them in costume every year so that years from now I can look through them and sob.

We thought the “Men’s Dressing Room” sign was a nice touch.  Don’t worry, on recital weekend it’s all girls, regardless of signs.

And finally, the best moment of the weekend:  Rich’s dancing debut.  He agreed to be in the Father/daughter dance with Faith in a routine that incorporated the chicken dance, the electric slide and the YMCA.  It was meant to be humorous and it was.  In fact, it brought the biggest cheers of the night and tears from my mother-in-law from whom we had managed to keep the whole thing a secret.

Whether they were tears because she was moved or because she laughed so hard she cried I am not sure.

But here’s the picture that proves that with the batting of her eyelashes and a “Pleeeeease Daddy?” Faith can get her dad to to anything.

Our Theory On Kids And Facebook

There are some changes coming up at school which is … life, I guess. I was kind of feeling nervous about it yesterday morning and I almost said as much in my facebook status.

Then I deleted it. It was negative and might have needlessly alarmed parents in the area.

I tried again, this time going for funny and I deleted that too because my funny can be taken for snarky.

Finally, I just decided to have a good attitude and wrote, “Mindee has decided to have a great day.”

And guess what?

I did. Such things can actually be determined by choosing your attitude.

Who knew?

That’s not my point though, my point is this: facebook is not for children. Because what I did yesterday with deleting and rewriting my status updates involves a little thing called impulse control along with thinking of consequences to others.

Kids?

Not so good at either of those. Especially when they are upset.

A few years ago, a couple of police officers came to school. When I first started working there, that would have scared me but I’ve learned that nearly always when the cops show up it’s not a big deal. Sometimes they stroll in just to say hello and check in, sometimes they are there to do a check on a Health and Human Services report. Rarely is it important so I checked them in, sent them to the office and forgot about them.

Until my principal came out and said they wanted to talk to me.

I went into the conference room where the officers were sitting with a student. It seems that I had sent the kid to the time out bench the week before at recess - a move he thought was unfair. So he went home and put on his facebook, “Who wants to help me burn down the school, all the teachers and especially Mindee?”

The parent of one of his “friends” saw it, printed it off and alerted the school and the police. In this post-Columbine world, these things are taken very seriously. This boy had to apologize to me, got suspended and has a report on his Juvenile Record.

Do I think he really intended to set me on fire?

Absolutely not.

I remember as a kid, riding the bus with my friends and all of us singing this little ditty to the tune of “Joy To The World.”

Joy to the world

The school burned down

And all the teachers too!

We’re looking for the principal

He’s hanging from the flagpole

We’re going to shoot him down

Bang! Bang!

We’re going to shoot him down

Bang! Bang!

At last he’s down and running away.

It was just a dumb song and we thought we were hilarious the whole time we were singing it. The bus driver would just roll his eyes, turn up his radio and ignore us. We were kids, we were blowing off steam with ill-advised humor and we didn’t mean anything by it.

The world is different now. We communicate by text, facebook, IM and e-mail. Our spontaneous thoughts are in print which means that, potentially, they can last forever.

Rich and I consider ourselves ultimately responsible for anything our kids post or tweet. (Lessons we’ve learned the hard way - believe me. In ten years or so when I’m allowed to blog about THAT it’s going to make a great story.) So I follow Reagan on Twitter (which she does not love) and to get onto facebook she has to bring me the laptop to log her in because she does not know her password. Hayden doesn’t really use his facebook and doesn’t tweet so he’s easy - for now. Faith is not allowed to have a facebook until she has completed 8th grade. From what I’ve seen on other middle-schoolers pages all she’s missing is drama.

Following along my Lenten adventure? Today’s piece of paper is: Give up close parking spaces. Park at the end of the lot. Whew! I got off pretty easy for the first day.

Let It Be Known Throughout The Land

Hear ye, Hear ye!

Be it known throughout this household that there shall be imposed a tax upon all candy brought across this threshold on Halloween.

This tax shall be known as "Mom Tax."

I birthed you, I bathed you, I cleaned your poopy bottoms.  I have given you countless hours of my precious sleep that I can never, ever, get back.  I drive you hither and yon and spend more money on your wardrobes than I do on my own because you have that whole "growth spurt" excuse that applies to more than just your butt.

Thus, you owe me.

I shall collect that payment on Monday.  The tax shall be no more than 10%, but is acceptable in only the following forms:

-Chocolate

-Dark Chocolate

Skittles, Necco wafers, gummies, life savers, etc. are NOT acceptable and will be tossed back into your lap with scorn.

If you do not pay your tax, know that I will take out much more than 10% over the course of the next several days as I find your hidden stashes and root through them.

Happy Trick or Treating.

Love,

Mom

Image Source

Yes, this is a repeat from 2009.  It still holds true.

Pajamas

During my tenure as a stay at home mom, I rarely spent the day in my pajamas.  Sweats yes, occasionally, but usually I could at least make it into jeans and a tee shirt.

And, okay fine, for a good 2-3 years I wore overalls.  It was the late nineties.  We all had them - and let me tell you, there is nothing better for post-partum wear than overalls.  Loose fitting, they don't press on the waist at all and have easy boob access for nursing.  But though overalls may be unshapely and comfy, they still aren't pajamas.

When the kids started school, I would get up in the morning and get them dressed and fed and pack their bags and their lunches and, more often than not, I would drive them to school in my pajamas praying that I wouldn't get into a traffic accident.

I never did.

Then I'd go back home and plop Faith down in front of Sesame Street or Wonder Pets or Between the Lions and I'd take a shower and put myself together for the day.  We had a lot to do:  MOPS group and Story Time at the library and trips to the grocery store and playdates.  I never did any of those things in my pajamas.  In fact, I relished the chance to go out at night because it gave met the chance to wear real clothes.

Now?

Now that I have to get dressed every day? 

Now that even when I wear jeans I put on a nice top?

Now, I really want my jammies.  I want the flannel and the elastic waist.  I want the loose fitting top without a bra.  I want fuzzy socks.  I want to spend every penny of my wardrobe budget on jammies to wear each and every day of the week.

But here's the kicker:  When I was 25, I would have looked sloppy yet cute had I run out to the store wearing the latest Nick n' Nora fashions.  At 41 I would look sloppy yet pathetic.

Which doesn't stop me from picking up Faith from dance in my pajamas at least once a week.  This is only a problem on the nights she doesn't see my car and sits in the studio lobby chit chatting until I swallow my pride and run in to hiss at her, "Get in the car.  Now!" and then I run back to my car really fast and pretend no one saw me.

Why is it that we never appreciate the nuances of our different stages of life while we are in the moment?

I should have appreciated my pajama opportunities more while I had them.  I have 20 years until retirement now.  20 years of having to coordinate shoes and accessories every day until I again reach a stage of fleecy clad freedom.

It's something to look forward to.

By the way, if you are my husband and you're looking for Christmas gift ideas, all of these pajama sets can be found at Target.

Of course, if you are my husband, these are not the pajamas you want to buy me.  The ones you have in mind are pretty much the opposite of comfy and when I say I want to stay in my pajamas all day, they are not what I mean at all.

You have to clarify these things for men.  They tend to be selectively stupid on these matters.

When Technology Works, It Is AWESOME

Monday, after work, I went with my friend/coworkers Carrie and Allison to a district sponsored class on Google Docs.

I was hoping for a little info to help me with a project at work and then to go out for margarita afterward.  And sure, mostly I was thinking about the margarita but it turned out that the class was useful.

Enlightening.

Amazing.

It has changed my life.

I was completely occupied yesterday converting my existence to Google Docs.  I am sure that most of the world already uses Google Docs and that, much like when I discovered Pandora, I am the last to know.  It's just another lesson for me in the importance of not resisting technology.  Rich tried to push a similar concept on me a couple of years ago but I flat out resisted because I did not want to learn anything new.

Rich?

I officially apologize and repent.  You were right.  I was wrong.

(I hate when I have to do that.)

Some fun things I did yesterday:

- At work:  I made a chart for all the recess notes and then Allison and I collaborated on a data gathering form for the office.  It was super fun!  I was working at my desk and she was in the office working on the same form.  We could comment back and forth and also at one point she popped her head out of the office door to squeal, "This is so cool!  I can see you typing as you do it!"

Yes, we are easily amused.  No, we did not have margaritas at work.

Dangit.

- Converted our whole family's schedule to Google Calendar.  Never again will Rich have to check with me to see "what's going on today".  It's right there and he can put it on his iphone. 

- Converted my meal plan to a Google Doc.  Remember how I said I was in need of new technology?  I found it.  And I can share!  I tried to embed the entire menu into this post, but it was too big for this space and involved some very awkward scrolling.

I am not a fan of awkward scrolling.

So all I can provide you with today is this link to my September/October five week menu.  You can select "make copy" from the file menu and then edit away to make it your own!  Links to many of the recipes are embedded in it.  You can change out the meals you don't want to make and add meals that you do.  You can change the dates.  You can look at it and say "I can't believe they eat that stuff".  Whatever!  I'll try to provide this here on the blog every time I make a new one.

 - Finally, I made a chore chart for my children.  Now I can print it off and put in in a plastic sleeve and they can use a dry erase marker to check items off.  Here's a small sample.

With Google Docs handy "Translate" tool I can even print the chore chart in Spanish which makes it useful AND educational for my two kids who are studying Spanish.

More realistically?

I can translate it to Chinese which makes sense because that is the language my children act like I am speaking whenever I'm telling them to do their chores.

Now I have questions for y'all:

1)  Do you use Google Docs?

2)  If so, what do you use it for that I am missing?