Pick One

I'm going to depart from dead, rich relatives this week and go with a hypothetical situation.

Purely hypothetical.

Let's say that you have a 12 year old son who has never, ever, ever  . . . ever, ever, never kept his room clean.

Ever.

Never.

So when this son comes to you and asks, "Mom, if I keep my room clean for six months, will you let me get a small, caged animal?"  you agree.

Because he'll never do it.

Ever.

And so even though you hate all small, caged animals you say "sure" thinking you'll get a week or two's worth of clean room out of the deal.

You even agree to knock a couple of months off and tell him he only has to keep it clean for four.

And then let's say that your hypothetical 12 year old son does indeed keep his room clean.

For four solid months.

And you have to keep up your end of the bargain. 

Even though you feel like somehow you got tricked on this deal.

In that hypothetical situation, which would you prefer to have living in your house:

- A rat?

- Or a gecko?

Pick one.

Rats are furry, but they have creepy tails.  Geckos are scaly, but they're quiet. 

They are both nocturnal.

They both have wee, beady little eyes.

Rats eat fruits, grains and vegetables.

Geckos eat live crickets which must also live in a cage in your house.

But you have to pick one.

I think you can guess how it turned out for me.

Hypothetically of course.

What about you?

Really Foolish Mothering

“Sure Hayden. If you keep your room clean for six months, I will buy you a gecko.”
“Really Mom? Really? Oh but six months is a long time. How about four?”
“Yeah, why not? If you can keep your room clean for four months you can have a gecko.”

Then I went off snickering to myself at how I had neatly ended the gecko discussion forever because by next week his room would be a disaster again and then I would have justification for never purchasing a lizard.

Things I did not know when I made this deal:

1) That while geckos themselves are only $30, the stuff they need runs another $120.
2) That geckos need a carefully balanced and regulated habitat.
3) That they eat LIVE CRICKETS.
4) That the crickets themselves need food and a cage.
5) That geckos live for 10-15 years.
6) That my son could, in fact, keep his room clean for four months.
I really, honestly did not believe it possible. After all, he’s a boy. A boy who wears his well documented ADHD proudly. His organization skills are terrible. In fact, if his English teacher is reading this, she is screaming at her computer, “The notebook! The backpack! Those should have been part of the deal!” He also hates to throw anything away. This should have been a non-issue. There was no way I could lose.

Except that I did. And here is my decade long consequence for speaking before thinking.

Meet Sabor the Leopard Gecko.

He is NOT cute. He is beady eyed and crawly.

See that tail? It can fall off if you handle him wrong. Gross.

I told Rich last night that this may very well be the dumbest thing I’ve ever done as a parent. We’ll see. The deal is that if Hayden doesn’t continue to keep his room clean that I will happily donate the gecko to the science teacher at school. I suppose that if this gets me years of room cleaning that it will be worth it.

But only if I never have to be in charge of anything cricket related. Eck.

I Might Be In Trouble

Since my kids have been old enough to beg for pets, I have had a strict No Rodents Or Reptiles policy.  None.  Nil. Nada.

Rodents are disease carrying fuzzballs with wee, beady little eyes and disgusting, naked tails.  Plus they terrify me.  Completely.

Reptiles are only slightly better.  They don’t give me the creeps quite so much but they tend to eat things that I don’t want in my house.  Like crickets and worms and . . . well, rodents.  Dead ones. (shudder)

Also, let me just admit that I am not an animal lover.  I am an animal liker, but I don’t get all mushy gushy about animals.  I like the ones we have but I don’t consider them family members.  Given my lack of passion for pets, we do have more than the average family.  Two cats, a poodle and a horse add up to a lot of mouths to feed and hair to vacuum.  So it’s not as if I’ve been stingy about my kids having pets - just particular about what kind of pets they are.

But Hayden wants a lizard.  Since we’ve been back from Hawaii, he specifically wants a gecko.  He begged and pleaded and wheedled and bargained.  So I struck a deal with him:  If Hayden can keep his room clean for six months, I’ll get him a gecko.

In my head I was chuckling to myself because Hayden’s room?  Nearly landfill status.  It’s bad.  We have bribed, threatened, taken things away and nothing had made the boy keep it clean for more than three days.  So I was thinking that this gecko deal might help for a week or two, and then he’d be back to his slothful ways and the lizard issue would be over forever.  I even compromised a bit and told him four months would do.

I underestimated the boy.

He has made it five weeks and shows no sign of slipping up.  He is determined and focused.  Hyper-focused.

So . . . geckos are kinda cute, right?  Sure they eat crickets and insects which is gross but also good right?  Right?

Good grief, I’m actually hoping for a messy room again!