Fridays(ish) In The Desert - Acts

First and foremost, two moments of awesomeness from this weekend:

1) Hayden won this trophy in a debate tournament:

 For those of you who understand debate: Due to issues with his partner, Hayden switched from policy debate to Lincoln Douglas debate halfway through the season.  This was his second tournament doing LD and he was in 1st place right up until the final round when he lost to a girl he beat earlier in the season.  He is mostly proud that the judge in two of his rounds started their notes with, “I really didn’t want to vote for this case but … ” It brings delight to his soul to be right in such a wrong way.

For those you who do not understand debate:  How cool is that trophy?  It’s a bobble-head!  I think all trophies should be bobble-heads.

2) Our neighborhood association finally handed out prizes from the Christmas Lights contest and guess who won?

That’s right:  Rich did.

Which shall make him insufferable for several holiday seasons to come but since he did get the lights down in a reasonable time frame this year and since first prize came with a restaurant gift certificate for $50, I’m going to roll with it.

And now for my thoughts on the book of Acts:

Um … . I can’t really comment.  I only read the first three chapters which are action packed.  Like, if you made those three chapters into a movie it could be two hours long action packed.  My brain is too fried to pick it apart and comment.

Also?

I’m lazy.

BUT I am moving forward with my plan to give up/change 40 things in 40 days for Lent which starts this Wednesday.  Several Catholic readers pointed out that I stink at both theology and math and that there are actually 46 days in the Lenten season because Sundays don’t count. 

Apparently, Catholics take Sundays off from whatever they are fasting.  I’m afraid if I do this, I’ll go hog-wild over indulging so I’m just going to refrain from adding items on Sundays.

Here is my list of things to give up:

1. Coffee
2. Sugar
3. Snooze Alarm
4. facebook
5. Words with Friends
6. Television
7. Cheese
8. Secular music
9. Bread/tortillas
10. Electric Blanket
11. iPad
12. Changing into jammies/sweats when I get home
13. Evening shower
14. Cereal
15. Raising my voice
16. Gossip
17. Chocolate
18. Popcorn
19. Chips/crackers
20. Pop/Crystal Light/Juice
    
21. Worry
22. Complaining
23. Fast food
24. Close parking spaces - go to the end
25. Breakfast
26. Driving to work when it’s over 40 degrees out
27. Leaving laundry unfolded
28. Eggs
29. Between meal snacks
    

These are the things I will add in:

1. Donate blood
2. 1st 15 minutes of the day reading Bible
3. Last 15 minutes of the day reading Bible/prayer
4. Gratitude journal
5. 45 minutes of exercise every day
6. Daily random act of kindness
7. Memorize Sermon on the Mount
8. Take Reagan out
9. Take Faith out
10. Take Hayden out
11. Take Rich out

I’m going to print them out and cut them up and put them all in a bowl.  Starting Tuesday evening I’ll draw out an item and whatever is on it starts the next day and continues to the end.  On the days I blog, I’ll just put a little note at the end with what I have drawn since the last post.

I have strong feelings about what order I’m hoping everything comes in (please oh please may I not have to walk to work for 40 days) so I think it’s best if I give up the control of this and let it happen as it comes.  The whole point here is to create a “desert” for myself in the hopes that the discomfort makes me turn to God instead of to my usual crutches.

My guess is that this is going to be painful, unpleasant and in the end won’t turn out in any way I hope it will.  But nothing ventured, nothing gained I guess.

If you need me between now and Tuesday I’ll be sitting in front of the TV stuffing my face, playing in my iPad and complaining.

Also?  In case you missed it, I wrote a guest post for Sometimes I Veg on what I would feed a vegan foolish enough to come to my house for dinner.  You can read it here.

Fridays(ish) In The Desert - Matthew

I said I would post these little commentaries every Friday.

It’s not Friday.  It’s Sunday night.

You aren’t really surprised though are you?

Oh you are? 

But it’s because you’re surprised I wrote the post at all?

You know me too well.

So, according to the plan, we’re on the book of Matthew.  If I were to go through the whole book we’d be here for days - this is meaty stuff folks.  Instead, I’m going to concentrate on chapters 3-4 which includes the account of the 40 days that Jesus spent fasting and praying in the desert, which was topped off by temptations from Satan.  I have the feeling I’ll be referring back to this passage a lot while I’m on my own 40 day fast.  Here’s why:

• When John the Baptist was scolding the Pharisees, he said, “… every tree that does not produce good fruit will be chopped down and thrown into the fire.”  I’m not feeling so fruitful lately - but I’d like to.  At the same time though, I’m a little afraid of what is required for this fruiting so the scare tactic is good for me.

• Jesus said, “People do not live by bread alone, but by every word that come from the mouth of God.”  Um, have you met me?  I pretty much do live by bread alone - and cake and pie and cheese and … yeah.  Food is my comfort and my joy.  Things are going to get ugly around here unless I can get this lesson to ring true for me.

• Jesus wanders through Galilee healing people.  Jesus healing people bothers me because it just doesn’t happen much anymore.  I’ve prayed for the healing of several people very important to me and haven’t seen an ounce of improvement and it kind of ticks me off sometimes.  It’s one of the issues I’ve allowed to become a barrier between God and me.  That’s an area I need to come to some sort of mental reconciliation with.

This is the last week of preparatory reading and I’m on the book of Acts.  It’s an action packed adventure, Acts is.  If you’d like to join me, check in next Friday …ish.

Fridays In The Desert - Jonah

It seems weird to mention Jonah and the desert in the same title, doesn't it?  When you think Jonah, you think ocean and storms and big fish.

Yet another indication that I should not be in charge of anyone's spiritual guidance.  You've been warned.

Source

You'd think, with Jonah being only four chapters, that I would have had this reading done in no time.  Nope.  I got through the first two chapters and the whole story was hitting so close to home and I was relating way too much to Jonah's disobedient butt-headedness.

So I stopped reading and closed my bible and didn't pick it up again for five days and then read the last two chapters really fast.

Here are my take away thoughts:

• What was Jonah thinking, trying to get on a boat to get away from God?  It's kind of like when a toddler covers their eyes and yells, "You can't see me!"
• I love how, when the storm hit, the unbelieving sailors tried to save Jonah from the sea.
• Turns out that God used even Jonah's naughty escape for good.  All the sailors became believers as a result.  Cool.  There's hope for my life.
• I do not ever, ever want to be inside a fish either figuratively or literally.
• It's pretty amazing what you'll promise when you're in a fish's belly though isn't it?
• And then how quickly you forget those promises when you get out.
• Raise your hand if you've been ticked about God granting forgiveness or favor on people we don't think deserve it. (My hand is waving wildly.)

It was much easier to take an objective third party view to Moses and Solomon.  Jonah was a little too close for comfort which is making me nervous about the upcoming weeks and my New Testament reading.

In other Lenten Adventure news, I'm kind of wishing I'd just gone ahead and done my 40 days when I first thought of this project and was full of enthusiasm about it.  I'm starting to really doubt my willpower and ability to truly give up a whole list of items over a 40 day period.  I guess that's kind of the point though.  I shouldn't be relying on my willpower through this thing.

Still, I'm seriously hoping that giving up sugar and giving up complaining don't come too close together!

Fridays In The Desert 1Kings

Remember that weight I lost last year?  It's back.  All of it.  And I enjoyed every single bite, but now it's time to repent and lose it again because I bought some really cute clothes last spring and I want to be able to wear them when it warms up again. 

Giving up treats and taking up exercise this week has been just as unpleasant as it sounds and is really making me wonder if I can get through my plan of 40 days of deprivation.  This is when blogging is good, because an audience is giving me accountability and I need it.  Big time.

So this week, according to plan, I read 1Kings.  It's a long one but mostly interesting and it has the story of Elijah which I love.  Here are my completely uneducated observations.

• Solomon started out as a really impressive guy.  I liked him.
• The building of the Temple would have made a fabulous series on HGTV.  I would like to see all that gold, sandalwood and bronze work up close.
• While it would make a good TV series, it's kind of boring to read about.
• If, when you watch the first Indiana Jones movie, you're at all confused about the Ark of the Covenant, this is the book for you.
• I really like Solomon until I got to the part about his 700 wives and 300 concubines.  Not shocking that he turned away from the Lord with that kind of a distraction going on.
• 700 wives? 300 concubines?  That's a whole different kind of reality series.
• Politicians, even those appointed by God himself and receiving direct, audible instructions are incapable of honesty or loyalty.
• The best part of being a prophet?  Knowing who is coming to your house before they get there!  But then I would use that knowledge to hide instead of delivering the intended message so I'm probably not going to be blessed with prophetic powers.
• The chapters in the teens are mostly boring and bloody.
• Right up until 18 which starts the story of Elijah!

I love Chapter 19.  It's so poetic and eloquent.  Elijah had reached such a low point in his life and his ministry, he was lying all alone in a desert asking to die.  Instead, God gives him food and water and has him walk for 40 days and 40 nights to meet with God at Mt. Sinai.  What follows is one of the best passages in the Old Testament.

¹⁰ Elijah replied, “I have zealously served the LORD God Almighty. But the people of Israel have broken their covenant with you, torn down your altars, and killed every one of your prophets. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me, too.”

 ¹¹ “Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the LORD told him. And as Elijah stood there, the LORD passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. ¹² And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper. ¹³ When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave.

   And a voice said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

 -New Living Translation.

I love that visual of looking for God in all the mighty and powerful displays, but finding Him in the quietest and gentlest of breaths.  It reminds me of nights holding my babies while they slept.  Looking at their sweet bald heads, feeling their insistent heartbeats and pressing my ear close to hear their quiet breathing . . . God was there without a doubt.  I've never been able to hold a baby and doubt that God is a creator.

Goodness, I'm sitting here getting teary.

After that chapter, things get bloody again and I'll admit that I skimmed my way through to the end.  I've never been fond of battles in literature or movies. 

One final takeaway from 1Kings?

Jezebel is a terrible name choice for a daughter.

Next week - Jonah.  Only 4 chapters!  Woo-hoo!

Fridays In The Desert - Me and Moses

I am wearing slippers to work today.  Every now and then as part of our Drug Awareness program, we have a "fun" day.  Today is: Don't Slip Up And Do Drugs! so everyone is wearing slippers.

So basically, I have to wear these today, or down the road these kids are going to become drug addicts.  It's a lot of pressure, forming young minds.

As per my schedule, I read Exodus this week.

I'm not even going to pretend to be a biblical scholar and try to break it down for you, but here are my impressions:

• I'm really glad I'm not a slave who has to spend my day making bricks out of straw that I have to haul myself - without slippers.
• It would be really cool to know how to weave well enough to make a waterproof baby cradle.
• I don't like the Pharaoh AT ALL.
• Plagues are icky - especially the one where the river turns to blood.  Gross.
• I don't understand the choice of Moses as the leader of Israel.  As long as Aaron was doing all the talking, why not just put him in charge?
• The Israelites were a whiny bunch.
• Which means I have a lot in common with them.  I don't think I would have lasted three days in the desert without wanting to turn back either.  Even when I'm in a miserable place, I prefer the misery I'm familiar with to an unknown outcome.
• I think though, that a giant pillar of fire leading me through the hard places would make things easier - or at least clearer?
• All of the testing and trials do seem to have made Moses more confident and a better leader so there must be something to that.
• I love God's command that the Israelites must celebrate in the same way at the same time each year to commemorate what God has done for them.  I think I kind of do that with my husband and kids on our Anniversary Day every year.

The mention of Moses' 40 days on the mountain didn't have much detail so I'm not really sure how to apply it to my 40 day plan but, as always, this chapter is full of lots of other meaty lessons.

Next week is 1Kings - one of my favorites!