Notepad

A Bad Choice For A Monday Post

2012-02-13T13:00:00Z

Last Friday, as a self-motivator to get my post up on time, I told myself that if I didn’t I would have to post my school picture from this year.

Obviously, that motivation failed, because I didn’t get it up until last night so I pulled out my packet of pictures and a pair of scissors to cut them apart. I stuck the 5x7 on the scanner, sent it to my computer and uploaded it to the blog to deal with today.

As I went to bed, I was composing text in my head to go with the picture. I was aiming for “funny” and fell asleep with a few ideas.

But this morning?

This morning brought a snowy Monday in February. This morning brought a violent case of PMS and a slight headache. This morning brought a bad hair day and clothes that don’t fit well and make up that just doesn’t do all the tricks that it promises to.

So sitting down at my computer and pulling this up today was … discouraging.

There is a profound disconnect between my mental image of myself and what I see in the mirror. It’s even more pronounced in pictures.

Is this happening to anyone else in the 35+ category?

I mean, yes, this is a picture taken by a school photographer so it is going to be bad. There’s no way around that. But I don’t think the photographer inserted those wrinkles or gave me circles under my eyes.

The culprits there are time, gravity and not enough sunscreen.

This picture makes me understand why so many celebrities spend their lives at plastic surgeons’ offices. If my pictures were plastered all over the place and every time I turned on a TV or the computer I had my 41 year old self staring back at me I’d be inclined to take strong measures too.

So I guess I’m not really feeling “funny” today. I’m feeling moderately insecure, saggy and oldish. I know that many of you kind readers will be inclined to try to cheer me up in the comments section because y’all are sweet like that but don’t worry - this too shall pass.

Tomorrow will be Tuesday, not Monday and I’m calling my hairdresser today to make an appointment where I’ll sit down and tell her to do something (anything) to make me look at least 3 years younger. And the PMS will pass and the snow will melt and I’ll realize that there are MUCH bigger issues in life than my normally aging self.

So today, just wallow with me if you’d like. Tell me about what makes you want to hide all the cameras and cover the mirrors. And if you have nothing else to be thankful for today, be thankful that you don’t have to have school pictures taken yearly to document the destruction.

Fridays(ish) In The Desert - Matthew

2012-02-13T01:02:36Z

I said I would post these little commentaries every Friday.

It’s not Friday. It’s Sunday night.

You aren’t really surprised though are you?

Oh you are?

But it’s because you’re surprised I wrote the post at all?

You know me too well.

So, according to the plan, we’re on the book of Matthew. If I were to go through the whole book we’d be here for days - this is meaty stuff folks. Instead, I’m going to concentrate on chapters 3-4 which includes the account of the 40 days that Jesus spent fasting and praying in the desert, which was topped off by temptations from Satan. I have the feeling I’ll be referring back to this passage a lot while I’m on my own 40 day fast. Here’s why:

When John the Baptist was scolding the Pharisees, he said, “… every tree that does not produce good fruit will be chopped down and thrown into the fire.” I’m not feeling so fruitful lately - but I’d like to. At the same time though, I’m a little afraid of what is required for this fruiting so the scare tactic is good for me.

Jesus said, “People do not live by bread alone, but by every word that come from the mouth of God.” Um, have you met me? I pretty much do live by bread alone - and cake and pie and cheese and … yeah. Food is my comfort and my joy. Things are going to get ugly around here unless I can get this lesson to ring true for me.

Jesus wanders through Galilee healing people. Jesus healing people bothers me because it just doesn’t happen much anymore. I’ve prayed for the healing of several people very important to me and haven’t seen an ounce of improvement and it kind of ticks me off sometimes. It’s one of the issues I’ve allowed to become a barrier between God and me. That’s an area I need to come to some sort of mental reconciliation with.

This is the last week of preparatory reading and I’m on the book of Acts. It’s an action packed adventure, Acts is. If you’d like to join me, check in next Friday …ish.

There's No Title For Something This INcohesive

2012-02-09T15:59:50Z

I took the day off yesterday. I had to go to a Parent/Teacher conference and the kitchen sink was backed up so a plumber was coming over and … well it was a Wednesday.

In February.

All in all a good reason to take a day off of work. I loved it. It made me miss my real job - being a stay at home mom. I like feeling as if I have some control over my home and my life. I like being available to do whatever needs to be done whenever it needs doing.

Also?

I like never leaving my house.

I’ve looked into “work from home” employment but it all looks either dreadfully dull (data entry) or horrifying (cold calling people) or slightly shady.

I really need to start buying lottery tickets.

Anyhoo, while I was home, I made my next 5-week menu. I wish I could figure out how to put it on the blog, but when I do, it looks like this.

Not terribly helpful unless you like to plan for 3 days at a time or scroll a lot. Which no one does, so here is the link to the full menu. If you’d like to use some, but not all of the menu, click on “make a copy” under the file menu. This will … make a copy! And then you can make changes to that copy.

It has 30 meal suggestions including links to 19 recipes. (I assume you know how to make things like tacos, spaghetti and sandwiches.)

This month I included what I normally serve on the side of my main dishes. You’ll see a lot of fancy things like “corn” and “broccoli”. That’s because my side dished normally involve me opening a bag of frozen vegetables, nuking them and then throwing them on the plate to torture the kids with.

Also?

You’ll note that on March 14th we are eating tater-tots. Go ahead and judge but I love tater-tots.

I also have links to five recipes I haven’t tried before which I may have found on Pinterest. Man I love Pinterest. I’ve found several good recipes on there (and a few I didn’t like). It has really spurred me to try new things.

In fact, while everyone else was watching the Super Bowl the other night, I was trying out a hair idea I found on Pinterest. I used Reagan’s friend, Arden’s head because she was more agreeable than my own daughter.

First we put her hair into multiple braids.

Then I ran a hot flat iron that Reagan uses to straighten her hair slowly down the braids. Once they were cool, I sprayed them lightly with hair spray and we took the braids out. It turned out quite wavy.

We were just messing around with it so we didn’t try to style it beyond this, but it’s always fun when something works the way it’s supposed to.

What’s the best tip or recipe you’ve found on the internet?

My Kid Is Witty

2012-02-08T11:00:09Z

Reagan’s facebook status from the other night.

Also? I’ve not met this “Big Mike” kid but I TOTALLY want to have him over for dinner now.

Unconditional? Not So Much

2012-02-07T12:00:00Z

I left a very important step out of the Picaken instructions yesterday. Here’s the photo:

It is imperative that you cover the cake with a towel while it’s cooling. Imperative, that is, if you live with this guy.

This is Mister eating the cherries and pineapple from the cake that Faith made last week.

In 20 years of owning cats, I have never had one that will eat fruit. It’s freakish.

Freakish but funny.

Although Rich didn’t find it so funny at dinner last night when Mister stole a piece of sirloin off his plate.

Sirloin stir-fried with broccoli in an orange soy sauce.

He has no pride. None at all.

It’s not like we let him steal food. (Well … actually I did let him steal that piece of steak because I wanted a picture.) He gets removed from the table over and over and then locked in a room during meal times but … dangit, he’s really cute.

And really snuggly.

And he makes me laugh. So he’s getting away with things that he shouldn’t. Things like finishing off my bowl of Raisin Bran.

Or sipping Reagan’s apple-cranberry Crystal Light.

But I don’t care how cute or cuddly or funny Mister might be. I wasn’t letting him get his little fangs into my Picaken. Thus the covering.

My love has limits.

Absolutely Ridiculous Food

2012-02-06T11:15:00Z

I may not care about football, but I do care about the Super Bowl.

I care because of this:My yearly super chili dog. A hot dog on a smushy white bread bun smothered in chili and queso and sprinkled with fritos.

It makes me happy.

And after I ate that, three different appetizers and chips and salsa I feigned interest in the second quarter and waited for half time.

Because half time?

Half time is for dessert!

This year’s dessert was an over the top extravaganza that I first heard about from Jamie The Very Worst Missionary. (Do you know her blog? It’s fabulous. You should subscribe to her feed because she doesn’t post often but when she does it’s always worth reading.) Normally, Jamies’s posts inspire me on a spiritual level, but when she wrote recently about the Picaken, I was inspired in a whole new way.

Here’s where it starts: with a basic cherry pie. I baked it the day before so it was completely cooled and set.

I’ll be straight up with you: what you’re looking at there is a store bought crust filled with canned cherry pie filling. Store bought crust because I had a weekend full of cooking and I wasn’t in the mood to fuss with pie crust. Canned filling because that’s what Rich likes best.

The rest of the dessert is home made though.

I like the cake recipe from the Hershey’s cocoa powder can but if you want to just use a cake mix, I won’t tell anyone.

I mixed up the batter and poured about a half inch into the bottom of a 10” springform pan.

Then came the hold your breath and squint your eyes part - inserting the pie.

That was tricky.

It goes in upside down because when you add the rest of the cake batter, it fits better this way.

I’m pretty sure this next picture is upside down.

I’m too lazy to fix it.

Whatever. You certainly don’t come here for my food photos.

You get the idea. Fill the pan with more cake batter until the pie is covered and you’re about 1/2” from the edge. You’ll have batter left over and you should know that it it illegal in most states to discard chocolate cake batter so use what’s left to make a few cupcakes.

I baked this sucker for a long time at 350. I started with 50 minutes and then checked it every 5-10 minutes until it finally started to pull away the from the sides. I’d guess it was about an hour and fifteen minutes total

You can see the edges got a little too done. After the cake cooled I trimmed that off.

And then frosted it. It took a recipe and a half of the frosting.

But what you want to know is what it looks like on the inside.

Here you go.

It was … decadent. A bit too rich for me actually but the males who were here were quite enthusiastic about it. I think if I were to make one again I’d go with an apple pie in a spice cake - that seems like it would be a bit more subtle and the flavors would meld better.

How about you?

Any truly ridiculous food while you watched the game last night?

Fridays In The Desert - Jonah

2012-02-03T15:36:26Z

It seems weird to mention Jonah and the desert in the same title, doesn't it? When you think Jonah, you think ocean and storms and big fish.

Yet another indication that I should not be in charge of anyone's spiritual guidance. You've been warned.

Source

You'd think, with Jonah being only four chapters, that I would have had this reading done in no time. Nope. I got through the first two chapters and the whole story was hitting so close to home and I was relating way too much to Jonah's disobedient butt-headedness.

So I stopped reading and closed my bible and didn't pick it up again for five days and then read the last two chapters really fast.

Here are my take away thoughts:

What was Jonah thinking, trying to get on a boat to get away from God? It's kind of like when a toddler covers their eyes and yells, "You can't see me!"
I love how, when the storm hit, the unbelieving sailors tried to save Jonah from the sea.
Turns out that God used even Jonah's naughty escape for good. All the sailors became believers as a result. Cool. There's hope for my life.
I do not ever, ever want to be inside a fish either figuratively or literally.
It's pretty amazing what you'll promise when you're in a fish's belly though isn't it?
And then how quickly you forget those promises when you get out.
Raise your hand if you've been ticked about God granting forgiveness or favor on people we don't think deserve it. (My hand is waving wildly.)

It was much easier to take an objective third party view to Moses and Solomon. Jonah was a little too close for comfort which is making me nervous about the upcoming weeks and my New Testament reading.

In other Lenten Adventure news, I'm kind of wishing I'd just gone ahead and done my 40 days when I first thought of this project and was full of enthusiasm about it. I'm starting to really doubt my willpower and ability to truly give up a whole list of items over a 40 day period. I guess that's kind of the point though. I shouldn't be relying on my willpower through this thing.

Still, I'm seriously hoping that giving up sugar and giving up complaining don't come too close together!

Dreaming

2012-02-02T15:37:37Z

Ever since we visited Hawaii three years ago, I have the daily real estate update in a reasonable price range sent to me.

This is my favorite house for today.

For only $289,000 this could be the view I wake up to every day.

Sure the cost of living is a wee bit high on the big island, but I could grow avocados in my yard!

And papaya!

And citrus fruit!

And coffee!

Heck, with all of that and a fishing pole I wouldn't need a grocery store. Every day would be warm and sunny with the sound of the surf in the back ground.

There's even an apartment on the lower level where I could put visitors.

It's not luxurious, but who needs luxury indoors when you can go outside to this?

Not me.

Why yes, there is an epic snow storm headed my way.

How did you know?

The Battle I Lost

2012-01-31T14:00:00Z

There comes a time in every child's life when they must learn to do their own laundry. For Reagan, it was when she started high school. That was the year I finally became fed up with washing jeans that she had worn for ten minutes and handing her a stack of neatly folded clothes only to find them strewn across her room the next day.

I led her to the washing machine, showed her how to use it and that was it. She has been taking care of her own clothes ever since and it's amazing how many wearings she gets out of her jeans now before they need to be laundered.

Then along came Hayden. He too started high school and somehow thought that I lived for laundry. He too was giving me baskets full of unworn clothes mixed in with the dirty because he was just too lazy to put them away. He too got a trip to the washing machine and a tutorial and was left to his own devices.

But?

Boys.

Are.

Different.

Instead of taking his new laundry knowledge and putting it to good use, he just started wearing all of his clothes dirty. Shirts, jeans, socks . . . all fair game for multiple wearings. (I did not ask - and do not want to know - about the underwear). Every 7-10 days I would harangue him into doing a load and he would and then throw the clean, rumpled load onto the floor of his room making it indistinguishable from the rest of the mess in there.

While my laundry load itself was much smaller, my frustration at my rumpled and slightly fragrant son was much bigger. On Saturday, I finally waved the white flag and admitted defeat.

Hayden was at an all day debate tournament so I grabbed a big basket and headed into his room. I grabbed all washable cloth including his bedding which had not been washed in . . . well, it's best not to think about it. In all, I did four loads in my he machine (that translates to 6-8 loads in a top loader) including TWENTY FOUR PAIRS OF SOCKS, folded it all and put it in the corner of my room.

When he got home, I allowed him to get one outfit out of the massive stack and then told him he would get no more clothes until his room was completely clean and all the clothes were sorted and put neatly away. He spent most of Sunday griping and filling trash bags but it all got done.

So I have a clean room and he's wearing clean clothes which is a small victory, but in the end?

Hayden wins.

I'm back to doing his laundry. I just can't take it.

Maybe I Do Not Actually Have To Control Everything?

2012-01-30T14:11:00Z

After 20 years of marriage, Rich rarely does anything that surprises me, but last week at dinner he said something that stopped me cold.

"I can cook dinner once a week."

Come again?

"I know how to cook. I can make dinner."

"Like, really cook? Not just frozen pizza?"

"Yes, really cook."

"Honey, in all the time I've know you you've only made French toast and English muffin pizzas."

The kids chimed in, "And pancakes! He knows how to make pancakes!"

Rich looked a little bit hurt. "I've grilled!"

"Okay, yes. You've grilled." I thought for a moment. Did I really want to kill this initiative? How often does the guy volunteer for something out of the blue? Not often. If I squashed this it might not happen again. "Well, I guess my theory is that if you can read you can cook. I taught myself to cook by reading cookbooks and watching cooking shows. How about if you cook every Sunday?"

There. I had laid down the challenge.

"I can do that." He looked me in the eye and replied with confidence.

"Great. But I have my menu planned for the next two weeks. You have to make what I have down and then you can pick whatever you want. I'll just need to know ahead of time to make sure we have the ingredients."

"No problem."

The kids were shooting each other nervous glances across the table. They weren't sure what to make of this development. In their world, Mom makes dinner and does the laundry. Dad fixes electronics and plumbing. The sky was falling.

Their discomfort was fun.

The next day I sent him the link to PW's Homemade Chicken Strips so he could study up. Yesterday though, as dinner time approached I started to panic. The kitchen is my zone. Cooking and baking are what I do. Having Rich in my territory messing with my stuff was making me hyperventilate a little. To add to my discomfort, I was letting Faith make dessert.

People assume, that because I cook and bake that my kids are proficient at it too. Not so much. Teaching is not really my thing. When I'm measuring flour or creaming butter and sugar or mixing in eggs, I don't want kids poking their fingers into everything and asking a bunch of questions. I don't have the patience to stand over them while they scramble eggs and make sure they stir them so they don't burn. It's just easier to do it myself which is fine with Reagan and Hayden but Faith begs me to let her cook and so yesterday I figured as long as I was breaking out in hives over having Rich in the kitchen, I might as well let Faith in there too.

I got her all the ingredients for Cherry Pineapple Dump Cake and turned her loose. Since this recipe uses an actual heated oven, I couldn't leave her unsupervised but, afraid my control issues would take over, I couldn't watch either. So I sat in the adjoining family room with my back to her playing on the iPad while she worked. Occasionally she'd call out a question and, still without looking, I'd answer. When everything was assembled I helped her stick it in the oven and set the timer.

While dessert baked, Rich moved in to start his segment. This was more than I could bear to watch so I headed upstairs to fold laundry. When I came back down, everything looked fine.

Suddenly it hit me: It's 5:00. Dinner is being made, dessert is in the oven and I'm not doing any of it. The beauty of the situation sunk in and I relaxed. I stayed out of the way while Rich finished up and directed a child to set the table. He got everything onto plates and called us all to sit down.

We all bit in a little tentatively, to find that he'd made some darned good chicken.

And dessert was delicious too.

We may be on to something here folks!