It's Kind Of Like That
Tuesday, August 24, 2010 at 6:15AM So you know that one friend you had in college? The one who was normally a reasonable girl? She went to class and studied and met you for coffee and all in all passed for a good friend.
But then, on the weekends, when you'd go out she would have a couple of drinks and turn completely insane.
Remember that friend?
Remember how, out of loyalty, you kind of had to follow her around? You made sure she wasn't stumbling into back rooms with creeps or making out on the couch in front of God and everyone with someone she'd regret later. And you kept tabs to make sure she wasn't saying anything outrageously stupid or driving off into the night with a stranger.
The thanks you got was either:
- A screaming tantrum about how "I. Am. Perfectectally. Um. Capa . . . capa . . . CAPABLE. Of Taking. Care. Of. Myself!
- A crazy, emotional conversation about you were "The. Best. Friend. EVER!"
- You'd let down your guard for a minute and turn around to find her dancing on a table and flinging her bra at the crowd. The next morning she'd moan, "How could you let me do that?" and you'd feel guilty.
Once she regained her senses, your friend would turn back into her normal, sane self. Possibly a little sheepish over the shenigans of the night before, but a lovely person once again.
So . . . figuratively speaking, that's pretty much what raising a teenager is like.
Only they don't even need alcohol to go around acting like they've lost their ever lovin' minds. It's completely within their hardwiring at this age.
Good times.
Good, good times.
Reader Comments (19)
So I've got that to look forward too. goody.
I agree. Teenagers and some young adults like ME don't need to drink alcohol to act (sometimes) like drunken collage kids.
Oh, knooooooooooooow! I'm afraid, I'm very afraid.
Can you observe any teenagers from the Sudan? It would be very interesting to see if they skip this stage and why.
Oh girl, I'm laughing! I'm laughing because it's TRUE! Teenage girls are the worst!
Good luck with these years. I wouldn't go back and do it again for anything.
On a high note, once teenage girls become not teenage girls they look back and then at their mom's and have to wonder how on earth you put up with them. Because they are amazed at themselves.
That or you can do what my mom did, wish upon her a daughter JUST LIKE HER. So that when she's older and contemplating children she thinks back and has to say, "Wow....I really hope He didn't hear that."
HA! Great comparison...doesn't it make you look back to when you were a teenager and want to call your parents to appologize?
Unfortunately my daughter isn't going to be just like me. . . .
She's going to be worse. And I HAVE called my mom to apologize already for every insane minute I gave her grief.
hahaha! This was good...I'm just eeking out of the teen years in another couple of weeks so I can laugh.
You know Mindee, I was thinking about my teenage years a couple of hours ago. I wish I could go back and change them. I can't, my mom and dad can't change their reactions to me either but for me there was a crazy pain that drove me to self destructive behavior back then. The best thing you can do for yourself and your daughter is to be there and listen. You will have to set boundaries but try to be really reasonable when you do so. It isn't easy. I was a difficult teenager to raise and while my son was okay as a young teen (before 17) after that things got crazy for a while. So I can relate to the whole "what do you think you are doing" phase too.
Just breathe deeply a lot, blog about having a teenager and remember that you and she will survive.
Biggest hugs,
Ardee-ann
Ugh. Yes - having gotten two of them somewhat safely through - it's a wild ride!! I agree with Ardee Ann - just make sure they know they are loved. It's what I didn't feel - what my kids say they felt - and what we all need!!! :)
(hugs) And feel free to call if you need a shoulder to cry on or a ear to vent in. :)
Heather
This is so true that it ISN'T. EVEN. FUNNY! I calmly told #1 that he had to hurry up and get out of this stage because #2 was closing in on the crazy and fast.....and I CANNOT HANDLE TWO OF THEM AT ONCE!!!!!
Oh, dear. I am sure my kids won't act weird during the teenaged years.
but then when they have kids, they'll turn around and say, "MOM, I'M SO SORRY!!!" just wait for it. wait for it.
Uhhhhhgggg....
I'm going to have two female teenagers in ten years.
Heaven help me.
First I have to say I think we had the same friend you wrote about. Also how ture. Some people would say they are fake but I truly know that the nice person is who they are deep down & then there is that inner demon that keeps showing up. Ya having one of each sex 20 months a part is a real win win let me tell you. #1 will have a good day & #2 will be just insane. Then the next day the switch. HELLO cain't you both at least just do this on the same day. Meanwhile the 8 year old takes it all in & already has mastered how to be a teen & 8. SO all I can say is maybe the 8 year old will have it out of his system by the time he is a teen & then I will have smooth sailing baby:)
I can only hope right?????
Scary!
I am so so so so so sorry.
I went through such miserableness last year and thought I wouldn't see the end of it. I'm right in there with ya.
I'm thinking of you and saying a prayer for you tonight.
Your analogy is pretty clever. I think it may be the best one I've heard yet. :)
uh-oh - I can only imagine the stories behind what prompted you to write this! Hopefully you're able to keep your sanity even if your kids aren't. :)
From my recollection of my teenage years I'm so sorry I put my mom through that.