A Bad Choice For A Monday Post

Last Friday, as a self-motivator to get my post up on time, I told myself that if I didn’t I would have to post my school picture from this year.

Obviously, that motivation failed, because I didn’t get it up until last night so I pulled out my packet of pictures and a pair of scissors to cut them apart.  I stuck the 5x7 on the scanner, sent it to my computer and uploaded it to the blog to deal with today.

As I went to bed, I was composing text in my head to go with the picture.  I was aiming for “funny” and fell asleep with a few ideas.

But this morning?

This morning brought a snowy Monday in February.  This morning brought a violent case of PMS and a slight headache.  This morning brought a bad hair day and clothes that don’t fit well and make up that just doesn’t do all the tricks that it promises to.

So sitting down at my computer and pulling this up today was … discouraging.

There is a profound disconnect between my mental image of myself and what I see in the mirror.  It’s even more pronounced in pictures.

Is this happening to anyone else in the 35+ category?

I mean, yes, this is a picture taken by a school photographer so it is going to be bad.  There’s no way around that.  But I don’t think the photographer inserted those wrinkles or gave me circles under my eyes.

The culprits there are time, gravity and not enough sunscreen.

This picture makes me understand why so many celebrities spend their lives at plastic surgeons’ offices.  If my pictures were plastered all over the place and every time I turned on a TV or the computer I had my 41 year old self staring back at me I’d be inclined to take strong measures too.

So I guess I’m not really feeling “funny” today.  I’m feeling moderately insecure, saggy and oldish.  I know that many of you kind readers will be inclined to try to cheer me up in the comments section because y’all are sweet like that but don’t worry - this too shall pass.

Tomorrow will be Tuesday, not Monday and I’m calling my hairdresser today to make an appointment where I’ll sit down and tell her to do something (anything) to make me look at least 3 years younger.  And the PMS will pass and the snow will melt and I’ll realize that there are MUCH bigger issues in life than my normally aging self.

So today, just wallow with me if you’d like.  Tell me about what makes you want to hide all the cameras and cover the mirrors.  And if you have nothing else to be thankful for today, be thankful that you don’t have to have school pictures taken yearly to document the destruction.

Fridays(ish) In The Desert - Matthew

I said I would post these little commentaries every Friday.

It’s not Friday.  It’s Sunday night.

You aren’t really surprised though are you?

Oh you are? 

But it’s because you’re surprised I wrote the post at all?

You know me too well.

So, according to the plan, we’re on the book of Matthew.  If I were to go through the whole book we’d be here for days - this is meaty stuff folks.  Instead, I’m going to concentrate on chapters 3-4 which includes the account of the 40 days that Jesus spent fasting and praying in the desert, which was topped off by temptations from Satan.  I have the feeling I’ll be referring back to this passage a lot while I’m on my own 40 day fast.  Here’s why:

• When John the Baptist was scolding the Pharisees, he said, “… every tree that does not produce good fruit will be chopped down and thrown into the fire.”  I’m not feeling so fruitful lately - but I’d like to.  At the same time though, I’m a little afraid of what is required for this fruiting so the scare tactic is good for me.

• Jesus said, “People do not live by bread alone, but by every word that come from the mouth of God.”  Um, have you met me?  I pretty much do live by bread alone - and cake and pie and cheese and … yeah.  Food is my comfort and my joy.  Things are going to get ugly around here unless I can get this lesson to ring true for me.

• Jesus wanders through Galilee healing people.  Jesus healing people bothers me because it just doesn’t happen much anymore.  I’ve prayed for the healing of several people very important to me and haven’t seen an ounce of improvement and it kind of ticks me off sometimes.  It’s one of the issues I’ve allowed to become a barrier between God and me.  That’s an area I need to come to some sort of mental reconciliation with.

This is the last week of preparatory reading and I’m on the book of Acts.  It’s an action packed adventure, Acts is.  If you’d like to join me, check in next Friday …ish.

There's No Title For Something This INcohesive

I took the day off yesterday.  I had to go to a Parent/Teacher conference and the kitchen sink was backed up so a plumber was coming over and … well it was a Wednesday.

In February.

All in all a good reason to take a day off of work.  I loved it.  It made me miss my real job - being a stay at home mom.  I like feeling as if I have some control over my home and my life.  I like being available to do whatever needs to be done whenever it needs doing.

Also?

I like never leaving my house.

I’ve looked into “work from home” employment but it all looks either dreadfully dull (data entry) or horrifying (cold calling people) or slightly shady.

I really need to start buying lottery tickets.

Anyhoo, while I was home, I made my next 5-week menu.  I wish I could figure out how to put it on the blog, but when I do, it looks like this.

Not terribly helpful unless you like to plan for 3 days at a time or scroll a lot.  Which no one does, so here is the link to the full menu.   If you’d like to use some, but not all of the menu, click on “make a copy” under the file menu.  This will … make a copy!  And then you can make changes to that copy.

It has 30 meal suggestions including links to 19 recipes.  (I assume you know how to make things like tacos, spaghetti and sandwiches.)

This month I included what I normally serve on the side of my main dishes.  You’ll see a lot of fancy things like “corn” and “broccoli”.  That’s because my side dished normally involve me opening a bag of frozen vegetables, nuking them and then throwing them on the plate to torture the kids with.

Also?

You’ll note that on March 14th we are eating tater-tots.  Go ahead and judge but I love tater-tots.

I also have links to five recipes I haven’t tried before which I may have found on Pinterest.  Man I love Pinterest.  I’ve found several good recipes on there (and a few I didn’t like).  It has really spurred me to try new things.

In fact, while everyone else was watching the Super Bowl the other night, I was trying out a hair idea I found on Pinterest.  I used Reagan’s friend, Arden’s head because she was more agreeable than my own daughter.

First we put her hair into multiple braids.

Then I ran a hot flat iron that Reagan uses to straighten her hair slowly down the braids.  Once they were cool, I sprayed them lightly with hair spray and we took the braids out.  It turned out quite wavy.

We were just messing around with it so we didn’t try to style it beyond this, but it’s always fun when something works the way it’s supposed to.

What’s the best tip or recipe you’ve found on the internet?

My Kid Is Witty

Reagan’s facebook status from the other night.

Also? I’ve not met this “Big Mike” kid but I TOTALLY want to have him over for dinner now.

Unconditional? Not So Much

I left a very important step out of the Picaken instructions yesterday.  Here’s the photo:

It is imperative that you cover the cake with a towel while it’s cooling.  Imperative, that is, if you live with this guy.

This is Mister eating the cherries and pineapple from the cake that Faith made last week.

In 20 years of owning cats, I have never had one that will eat fruit.  It’s freakish.

Freakish but funny.

Although Rich didn’t find it so funny at dinner last night when Mister stole a piece of sirloin off his plate.

Sirloin stir-fried with broccoli in an orange soy sauce.

He has no pride.  None at all. 

It’s not like we let him steal food. (Well … actually I did let him steal that piece of steak because I wanted a picture.) He gets removed from the table over and over and then locked in a room during meal times but … dangit, he’s really cute.

And really snuggly.

And he makes me laugh.  So he’s getting away with things that he shouldn’t.  Things like finishing off my bowl of Raisin Bran.

Or sipping Reagan’s apple-cranberry Crystal Light.

But I don’t care how cute or cuddly or funny Mister might be.  I wasn’t letting him get his little fangs into my Picaken.  Thus the covering.

My love has limits.